Betrayed? Cannot Trust People?
My client Rachel and I were speaking today. And we were talking how her ex-husband had betrayed her during the marriage and after it.
And she asked — Do you think my current boyfriend could betray me too? Then she quickly added, “I normally don’t trust people …”
Here is what I said to Rachel and what I want to say to you too, if this is your struggle as well.
There are two levels to changing this story of abandonment and betrayal.
First: He did not betray you. You bettered yourself.
There were red flags from the get go. There were things that stood out in your mind that you did not think were right. But you were willing to go along with it. You probably like lots of us were afraid to be alone. And so you were putting up with situations from this person. Situations you could have spoken up about or acted on your gut instincts. So when they took their final blow, it was not all of a sudden. It was not out of character. All along they were showing you who they are. So forgive yourself. And forgive them. They are simply your greatest teacher.
Now that you know this, here is what you need to do differently — Always listen to your gut instincts. Pay attention to the red flags. Honor yourself. Listen to yourself. Never again betray yourself. Never. Because you will never be alone. And you will never be out of love.
Second: Trust yourself.
People are messy. People are emotional and impulsive. People overreact or don’t react they way they want them to. People are unpredictable and you cannot control them. People do crazy things. So you cannot anchor you trusting people on them, their character, or them not changing. You have to anchor you trusting people on you. You cannot place your anchor on the outside. You have to place your anchor on the inside. Here is what I mean …
If you believe that you create your reality, and that you are the wellspring of your experience, then your word is the law in your universe. You cannot control people. But you can control yourself. You can control the things you choose to believe. And you can control the things you choose to feel. That is the greatest power you hold. So become intentional with the things you draw in and allow into experience.
You say, “The world is full of amazing people. And I surround myself with good people. I naturally draw them to me. People who are loyal, and kind and always do the right thing. People who always rise to the occasion, and who I can always count on doing the right thing for me. Because they take pride in their integrity. They take pride in the things they create. I love people like that. I am so grateful for this and that person in my life because this is exactly who they are, etc.” As you tell this, you feel love, gratitude, appreciation, etc.
And this is how you take your power back. And even if they do something disappointing, you would be able to handle it, because you know how to work with your thoughts and your emotions.
This topic of abandonment and betrayal is one of the cornerstones of my program “Stop The Abandonment; Attract True Love” If this is an important conversation for you, please check it out and email me at info@mirakelley.com asking me how to join us.
And there is another opportunity I want to tell you about! I just created a new coaching program that has been already running successfully and bettering the life of the people in it.
It is time to go beyond your past. As you cross the bridge towards your future, I will guide you to resolve and release the emotional blocks of the past, and experience being free and empowered. In the intimate setting of a small and supportive soul group of Beyond The Past class, you will awaken your magnetic force and you will activate and align with your destiny.
For more information please go to https://mirakelley.com/work-with-me or email me at info@mirakelley.com and please tell me what is the past that you are leaving behind and what future are you walking towards.
Hello Mira, I wonder if it is my past that is making me feel so unhappy in my marriage of over 30 years. I don’t want to leave i am happy with much of what we have created together and i don’t want to create financial and emotional upheaval. But i feel frustrated with my husbands presence. His behaviour and personality is often annoying for me. I feel disconnected from him. Maybe I ignored my red flags and now I am with someone I don’t love. He is a kind and gentle man but also foolish in my eyes. I feel guilty that I don’t respect him. I am often sad and feel I have created a prison for myself.