Is Love a Reward? Can You Have Success and Love at the Same Time?
Yes, you can have success and love at the same time. You can open up to a loving relationship now, and a supportive partnership can even help you grow toward the success you want.
Should you wait to be in a relationship? Should you open up to love now, or save it as a reward for when you’ve achieved everything on your list? I explore these questions in this video.
Why we treat love as a reward
Many ambitious people believe they have to “earn” love. Once I’m successful, once I’ve lost the weight, once I’ve built the business, then I’ll be ready. Then I’ll deserve it.
This belief often comes from early messages: that love is conditional, that we’re worthy only when we achieve, that we must prove ourselves first. It can feel responsible and disciplined. Yet it can also keep us lonely for years.
What happens when you put love on hold
- Time passes. Goals move. There’s always another milestone.
- You may feel unworthy. Waiting can reinforce the belief that you aren’t enough yet.
- You miss support. A loving partner can be a source of encouragement, perspective and joy along the way.
- Your heart closes a little. The longer we postpone love, the harder it can be to open up.
Love and success can feed each other
When love is healthy, it can strengthen your success. A partner who believes in you, celebrates your wins and holds you through setbacks can give you energy and courage. And when you feel fulfilled in your work, you bring that joy into your relationship.
The key is choosing a partner who supports your dreams, and being that kind of partner too.
You are worthy of love now
You deserve love at every income, every title and every size. Your worth is already yours. Unconditional love begins with how you treat yourself, today, exactly as you are.
How to open to love while pursuing your goals
1. Examine your beliefs
Ask yourself, “What do I believe I need to achieve before I can be loved?” Write it down. Notice where the belief came from.
2. Make room in your life
Love needs space. Even with a busy schedule, you can create time for connection, dating or nurturing your current relationship.
3. Get clear on what you want
What kind of partner supports your vision? Write down the qualities that matter most to you.
4. Communicate your priorities
Be honest with a partner about your goals and your need for time to pursue them. A loving partner will respect it.
5. Practice receiving
Let people support you. Accept help, compliments and care. Receiving is a muscle that prepares you for love.
Soul connections and timing
Sometimes we meet people from our soul family or soul group, connections that feel deeply familiar. These relationships can arrive at unexpected times, including when we’re busiest. Trust that the right connections come when you’re open to them.
Old patterns in love
If love has felt hard or out of reach, there may be deeper patterns at play, from childhood or even other lifetimes. I write about this in How to Clear Your Love Karma.
For couples
If you’re already in a relationship and both of you are building big things, make your connection a priority too. Regular check-ins, shared rituals and honest conversations keep love strong while you grow. My Couples Journal is a lovely tool for this.
Let me know your thoughts
Do you believe love should come after success, or alongside it? I’d love to hear where you stand and why.
A practice for today
Place your hand on your heart and say, “I am worthy of love now. I welcome love and success into my life.” Notice how it feels to say it. Repeat it each day this week.
Success is more than achievement
When we define success only by goals reached, we can miss the richness of the journey. Love, connection and joy are part of a successful life too. Imagine looking back years from now. Will you be proud of the titles you earned, or grateful for the people you loved along the way? For most of us, the answer includes both.
Love yourself first
The most important love you will ever have is the love you give yourself. When you treat yourself with kindness, celebrate your progress and forgive your mistakes, you build a foundation that makes both success and partnership easier. Self-love tells the world, and the people in it, how you expect to be treated.
Love can arrive anytime
Some of the most beautiful relationships begin when people least expect them, in the middle of a busy season or a big project. Keep your heart open. You may be surprised by who shows up, and when.
Your soul wants both
From a soul perspective, we come here to grow in many ways at once: through our work, our relationships, our challenges and our joys. Love and success are both part of that growth. You can have both.
Your love and success list
List three goals you are working toward and three ways you’d like to give and receive love this month. Seeing them side by side shows you how both can share your calendar.
Frequently asked questions
Can you have a relationship and be successful?
Yes. A supportive partnership can strengthen your success, and fulfilling work can enrich your relationship.
Should I wait until I’m successful to date?
Waiting can keep you lonely and reinforce feelings of unworthiness. You can open to love while pursuing your goals.
Is love something you have to earn?
You are worthy of love as you are. Love begins with how you treat yourself.
How do I balance love and career?
Make room for connection, communicate your priorities and choose a partner who supports your dreams.
Ready to open your heart to love while you build your dreams? Book a 1:1 session with me.
Beautifully said. Thank you, Mira. And sending oceans of love right back to you
This is so true, Mira! So many people believe they can only be loved if they have a high enough salary, important job title, beach home, nice car, lots of friends, etc… The truth is that any relationship that begins because of material wealth and status is not true love. If someday you lose your money and your job and as a result your spouse divorces you, that person never loved you. They loved your money and your things. They loved how important and good you made them look around their friends and family because they were too insecure to live a fulfilling life true to themselves. I have learned in life you cannot make people love you. Some people will be drawn to and attracted to our true nature and spirit and others won’t. There is no explanation for it. It is a beautiful mystery. What is important is that we have the wisdom to stay true to our divine nature and not change ourselves to please the people who are not attracted to us and therefore will never love us. Trying to please people by compromising who we really are will make us lose ourselves and will never bring us to a fulfilling and loving relationship.
David, so beautifully said — a beautiful mystery! I am sending you all my love!
Thank you. I’m very happy to have come across you and your teachings. Gentle and loving. Love is what we all are 🙂
I am so happy we connected! I look forward to continue to share with you!
Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking and inspiring message. I have been telling myself that Love is a luxury, and that I will need to “work on myself” to have Love in my life. The work ethic and delayed gratification may have their place, but not when it comes to Love. Thanks for reminding me of that.
I am so happy to help with this shift in consciousness, David!
Mira, just this morning I reminded myself that I had to succeed on my own terms before I could have love in my life. Why? Because what if I became dependent on someone else for my security–that would not be good! I also had decided it was too late for love, anyway. Then I open your video just now…like a piece of synchronicity just so exact in its messaging. Yes, reward was my experience of love with my parents–I have never looked it that way before. It feels like a clear wind of change sweeping through me, just like that, on the instant. How can this be–but it is.
Thank you, very much. It is like an electric current of awareness.
Regina, I am so thrilled! So thrilled and delighted for the shift you experience and how synchronous it is for you!!! I am sending you oceans of love!
When I grew up I always heard this statement: “you need to earn love by doing good things for others”. Deep inside of me I knew that idea was worng, but only until today I could see very clearly that I was holding the belief that “love is a reward” and I havve been working hard to earn it all these years…
Thank you for this video, it came at the perfect moment!
Much love to you!
Pilar, thank you for sharing with me! Remind yourself — Love is a blessing! I could never earn love because I am already deeply, completely and profoundly loved! So all I have to do is trust love, open to it, invite it in and have it walk beside me and nourish me as I do my work of doing good things for others and follow my purpose in the world.
Sending you oceans of love!
Here is a short poem I wrote quite some time ago.
The Fabric of Life
Each of us is a single Thread
Woven by Love
Into a tapestry
of relationships.
Called Life.
©Bill Montague 2005
Bill, this is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing it with me!
OMG,you are so loving I get so much love only by looking at you. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much, Ima! Thank you! I am sending you big hugs!
This is a beautiful, timely message Mira. I have had difficulty seeing this with my own children. I have worked on healing other unhealthy patterns and on a subconscious level I knew this one would be next. I can heal this pattern so that my children and their children can benefit.
Sendinf you love,
Eva
Thank you so much, Eva! Your children are so blessed to have you!
Thankyou Mira , i keep getting drawn back to your information your wisdom and you big smile of Love. Your voice is soothing to my soul. i listen to your Trust meditation often and my day always gets better. Just thank you from the depths of my heart and soul. You have enriched my life through your you-tube chats and your book was just Awesome will be re-reading it again soon.
Unconditional love
from Danielle
Thank you, Danielle! Thank you for the love and joy your little note here gives me!
Bingo! I am brought back to Chapter 9, You Have the Right to Love Yourself, and Serena’s story. It starts with self-love. “Even before our souls were born, we have been wanted, treasured and loved.” That chapter transformed my life. When you can truly love yourself, you then find love everywhere. Maybe the next step would be to love without expectation. When and if the person you “love” no longer helps you to reflect “who you really are,” then you love them and let them go…..without expecting them to change for you or for the relationship. I know full well the repercussions of conditional love. Like you suggested, end that cycle. Yes!!! Yes!! Thank you Mira. You warm my heart with all of your messages. Sending YOU love!!
Oh dear, this is so great. I could really feel the love flowing. Plugged in! I love that. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you so much for all the great work/love you share. You just look beaming with light/love. Thank you. I’m so happy to see all your happiness and grace. Just magnificent.
Typo-,meant by Single!
Wow! I never realized how much this applies.to us us long time married folks -who think your advice is targeted to those who are still angle . It’s totally on point for everyone: and makes you think about patterns and ruts we can get into if out partner or we withhold love in this way. Thanks.
Namaste!
Thanks for the Nice and enlightning video ,somewhere I was doing the same mistake to make myself eligible for love after having turn into other person and I actually keep on getting lesser love ,so I will keep in mind your valuable advice to accept myself for love the way I am as 7 years passed making me fit into that lovable category and feeling self guilt about myself