Have You Done Love? A Life Review Question to Live By

“Have you done love?” is a question many near death experience accounts point to. People describing a life review often say what mattered most was how they loved others, including small, everyday acts of kindness. Asking yourself this question now can help you live with more love today.

The question that stays with me

“Have I loved my fellow human beings the way he totally accepted me and loved me?”

A man who had a near death experience asked himself this during his life review, after he left his body and transitioned into spirit. His story appears in a film called Life After Life, and his question has stayed with me ever since.

The film behind this question

Life After Life is based on Raymond Moody’s best-selling book of the same name. The film shares accounts of people who came close to death and returned. It describes what they experienced, but more importantly, it offers a lesson in how to live.

The message I took from it: our love for those around us, and our small and seemingly inconsequential acts of kindness, are what really count the most.

What is a life review?

In many near death accounts, people describe seeing their life replayed. They don’t only see events. They often report feeling the effect of their actions on others, as if experiencing their life from the other person’s side. Achievements and possessions seem to fade in importance. What remains is love.

Whatever you believe about what happens after death, this idea offers a powerful mirror for how we live right now.

Credit where it’s due

I want to credit my wonderful friend Jennifer Pastiloff for inspiring the question “Have you done love?” Four simple words, and they hold so much.

Doing love in daily life

Love is something we feel, and it’s also something we do. Here are ways to practice it:

1. Notice people. Make eye contact with the cashier, the driver, the neighbor.
2. Speak kindly, especially when you’re tired or stressed.
3. Forgive where you can, including yourself.
4. Show up for friends and family when it matters.
5. Give your time, attention or help without keeping score.

These acts may feel too small to matter. The life review stories suggest they matter a great deal.

The moments we overlook

Think about a time a stranger’s kindness changed your day. Maybe they smiled, helped with a heavy bag or said something encouraging. They probably forgot it within an hour. You might remember it for years.

You’ve done the same for others without knowing. Every interaction is a chance to leave someone a little better off.

Love and reincarnation

In my past life regression work, love is a recurring theme. Many clients sense that their soul’s growth is measured by how deeply they learned to love. Relationships often continue across lifetimes, offering new chances to heal and connect. If you’ve wondered about this, Who Is Your Soulmate? explores how soul connections can take many forms.

When love feels hard

Some people are difficult to love. Doing love can include refusing mistreatment. Boundaries can be an act of love toward yourself. And sometimes the most loving thing is to wish someone well from a distance.

If painful patterns keep repeating in your relationships, How to Clear Your Love Karma and Never Be Betrayed Again may help you understand and release them.

Love at work and online

It’s easy to think of love only at home. Yet much of our day happens at work and on our screens. Doing love there might mean crediting a colleague’s idea, answering an email with patience or choosing a kind comment over a sharp one. Online, words travel fast and land on real people. A moment of warmth in a busy inbox or comment thread can mean more than we imagine.

Love for yourself

Doing love includes how you treat yourself. If your inner voice is harsh, it becomes harder to offer warmth to others. Speak to yourself with the patience you’d give a child who is learning. Rest when you need to. Celebrate small progress. Self-love fills the well that your love for others draws from.

Your evening review

Before sleep, ask: “Have I done love today?” Recall one moment you were kind and one moment you could have been kinder. Hold both with compassion. Tomorrow is a new chance.

Practiced over time, this short ritual can change how you move through the world.

You might also keep a small notebook by your bed for this. Over weeks, the pages become a record of love in action: the call you made to a lonely relative, the patience you found in traffic, the apology you finally offered. Reading it back on a hard day reminds you that you are doing love more often than you think.

Love in your partnership

If you share your life with someone, ask the question together: How did we love each other this week? What would help us love each other better? My Couples Journal offers prompts for exactly these conversations.

Let love lead

The people in Life After Life came back with a clear message: love is what lasts. You don’t need a near death experience to live by it. You can start now, with the next person you meet.

For a lighter take on the same theme, read Let Your Love Flow.

Frequently asked questions

What does “have you done love” mean?

It asks whether you’ve truly loved others through your actions, including small acts of kindness, which many near death accounts describe as what matters most.

What is a near death experience life review?

Many people who’ve had a near death experience describe seeing their life replayed and feeling how their actions affected others.

What is the film Life After Life about?

It is based on Raymond Moody’s best-selling book and shares accounts of people who had near death experiences.

How can I practice doing love every day?

Notice people, speak kindly, forgive, show up for loved ones and give your time and attention without keeping score.

Do I need to believe in an afterlife to use this question?

No belief is required. The question works as a daily reflection on how you treat others.

Want to explore the love lessons your soul is working on? Book a 1:1 session with me.