How to Own Your Own Energy

To own your own energy means choosing how you feel in the moment, even when outside circumstances provoke or trigger you. You do it by noticing when your energy shifts, coming back to your breath and your heart, and deciding consciously how you want to respond. With practice, you can keep feeling good no matter what is happening around you.

In this video I share how to manage your energy so you can stay steady and feel good, even in challenging moments.

Watch the video on YouTube.

Why your energy matters

Your energy shapes everything: your mood, your decisions, your relationships, and what you create in your life. When you give your energy away to every irritation, worry, or difficult person, you feel drained and reactive. When you own it, you feel clear, calm, and powerful.

Owning your energy is a skill you can practice every day.

What it means to be triggered

A trigger is anything that pulls you out of your center. A comment, a tone of voice, a traffic jam, a news headline. In an instant your body tenses, your breathing changes, and old feelings rise up.

Triggers show you where you still have energy tied up. Each one is an invitation to heal and to choose again.

The steps to own your energy

1. Notice

The first step is awareness. Catch the moment your energy shifts. Where do you feel it? Your chest, your jaw, your stomach? Simply noticing creates a little space between you and your reaction.

2. Breathe

Take a slow, deep breath into your belly. Then another. Breathing slowly tells your body that you are safe. It brings you out of fight or flight and back into the present.

3. Come into your heart

Place your hand on your heart. Breathe as if the breath is moving in and out through your heart. Recall a feeling of gratitude, love, or appreciation. This brings you into heart coherence, a state where your heart, mind, and body work together in harmony.

4. Choose

From this calmer place, ask, “How do I want to feel? How do I want to respond?” You get to decide. You may still set a boundary or speak up, and you’ll do it from a place of strength.

5. Return as often as you need

You will be pulled out of center again. That’s human. Each time you return, you strengthen the habit.

Owning your energy in daily life

• Start your morning centered. A few minutes of meditation sets the tone for your day.
• Check in hourly. Ask, “Where is my energy right now?”
• Protect your inputs. Notice how certain media, conversations, or habits affect you.
• Release at night. Breathe out the day before sleep so you don’t carry it into tomorrow. Writing it out in the Vent Journal helps too.

When other people’s energy affects you

Some people leave us feeling heavy or anxious. Owning your energy means remembering that you can be compassionate without absorbing their emotions. Picture yourself surrounded by light, breathe into your heart, and silently say, “I choose my own energy.”

Energy and consciousness

Every time you choose your state on purpose, you become more conscious. You stop living on autopilot and start creating your life deliberately. Over time, the triggers that used to knock you over lose their power. You’ve reclaimed the energy that was tied up in them, the same way telling a secret frees energy, as I share in The Secrets We Keep.

A simple daily practice

Set a timer for five minutes. Close your eyes. Breathe into your heart. Recall something you are grateful for and let the feeling grow. Then imagine carrying that feeling into the rest of your day.

How do you manage your energy? I’d love to hear what works for you.

Why the breath works

Your breath is always with you, which makes it the most accessible tool you have. When you are triggered, your breathing becomes short and shallow. By slowing it down on purpose, you send a signal of safety to your whole body. Your heart rate settles, your muscles relax, and your mind clears. Within a few breaths, you can feel the difference.

That’s why I come back to the breath again and again. It’s simple, it needs no equipment, and it works anywhere: in a meeting, in traffic, in a difficult conversation.

Your energy is your responsibility and your gift

Owning your energy is an act of self-respect. It also changes the people around you. When you stay centered, you give others permission to calm down too. Your steadiness becomes a gift to your family, your colleagues, and your community. Joy spreads the same way, as I describe in Bodhisattva in the Metro.

Remember, you will not be perfect at this, and you don’t need to be. Every time you notice, breathe, and choose, you are building a new way of being. Celebrate those moments. Over time, they become who you are.

Notice your progress

After a few weeks of practice, look back. Are there situations that used to throw you off and now barely touch you? That’s your energy, reclaimed.

Frequently asked questions

What does it mean to own your energy?

It means choosing how you feel and respond, so outside circumstances no longer decide for you.

How do I stay calm when someone triggers me?

Notice the reaction, breathe slowly, bring your attention to your heart, and then choose your response.

What is heart coherence?

A state where your heart, mind, and body work in harmony, often reached through slow breathing and feelings like gratitude.

How do I stop absorbing other people’s energy?

Stay centered in your own breath and heart, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you can care without carrying their emotions.

Ready to make owning your energy a daily habit? Book a 1:1 session with me and let’s find what is pulling you out of center.