Speak Your Truth – How To Break Up Authentically

My client Luna loves love.

The beautiful, outgoing, fun girl that she is, she has no problem getting a date.

Luna has been in a new relationship for the past couple of months. At first the guy was intriguing and enchanting. She let her imagination paint a lovely picture of what their future could be like.

As the weeks rolled by, she got to know him better. And she recognized his good heart and his great qualities as a man. But it was not enough for her. For a while there she struggled with the questions – should I invest in him more; should I continue the relationship?

The hotter and more excited he got about her, the cooler and more distant she got.

Does this sound familiar? Have you been in a relationship like that?

Finally, Luna made up her mind. She knew she couldn’t allow herself to be trapped in a situation that was not right for her. She was clear that he was not the one.

But now a challenge presented itself! Luna has never broken up with anyone. Ever.

In past relationships she was always the architect of change. Her pulling back and withdrawing made her boyfriends feel unimportant. After trying and trying to win her back, eventually they would give up. And the relationship would die on its own out of neglect.

 

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 Photo by Dmitri F.

When Luna and I spoke about this situation, she was adamant that she wanted to act differently. She has been committed to changing her relationship patterns. She was determined to change her abandonment story and create a healthy and balanced relationship.

But she was scared. Luna is very loving, kind and considerate. And it was not a surprise that she did not want to hurt the guy. A part of her wanted to spare him the pain. She wanted to slip out of the relationship as if nothing has ever been, hoping he would not even notice. She did not want to hurt him. She did not want to utter words of rejection. She did not want to say to him that he was simply not enough for her. That part of her also wanted to avoid the guilt. She did not want to feel like a bad, mean girl.

As I was listening to Luna, it became clear to me that there was another underlying motivation. She was running away from verbally breaking up with him because she wanted to keep his love. Her fear of loosing people was keeping her trapped. It was not about him being hurt. It was about her not being hurt. She was trying to protect her heart. Her fear of abandonment was urging her to not loose him, even if she consciously did not want the relationship. She wanted to remain in his good graces even if she never cared to kiss him again.

Through tears of shame, regret and commitment to cross the river of change, Luna agreed that that was the unconscious motivator. The excuse that she did not want to hurt him was just the socially acceptable thing she was telling her friends in order to make herself look good. Having admitted this, now it was time to free her from her own judgment. Now it was time to empower her in her truth.

Luna and I spoke how we mirror one another in relationships. Like attracts like. Chances are he too needed to work around his abandonment challenges. I was guessing that his love story went something like this – I always chase after love, giving them my heart and soul and they always betray me and leave me feeling unworthy and unlovable. I knew that Luna was a great teacher for him. They have come together attracted by their wounds in order to heal their hearts and become more whole. Understanding that he too was gaining so much through the unraveling of their relationship, released Luna’s guilt.

Now it was time to address that important moment – her needing to voice her truth to him. When she spoke of true love, she imagined it as a relationship where she trusted the other person so much that she could be authentic with him and honestly speak of her joys and her fears. She wanted her ideal partner to be able to handle who she really is and anything she could possibly tell him. Yet, there she was, not trusting herself with the same. Luna quickly saw the irony in it. And she decided that she herself needed to become a vibrational match to what she desired before she could attract it to her.

Prior to our conversation, Luna’s throat chakra was not really open as to him. Her gateway of truth was clogged with fear. Now that the blockage was clearing up, she was ready to hear me. She was ready to hear the answer. “Speaking the truth liberates,” I said. “Your truth will liberate him. Give him that gift. Free him. Allow him to find his true love. Your truth will liberate you. Love yourself enough to trust that you will find that one man – the only one whose love you care to have and to keep. Trust your dream for an amazing relationship and let go of that which is not it.”

Luna was relieved to be free of her own judgment. She took a deep breath in and with conviction and gratitude she said, “My truth will liberate him.”

I know that in no time she will be madly in love with a partner who makes her truly happy.

Please take the little nugget of wisdom that truth liberates and use it in your life. Allow your throat chakra to be the gateway of expressing your love and wisdom. Speak your truth freely. Give your feelings and your thoughts wings. Empower others by liberating them though your truth.

 

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