Amy felt a perpetual state of fear and sadness. She recognized the many blessings of her life but she felt unable to open up to joy. As I began guiding Amy to a deep relaxation, I knew that we would connect with a past life that will give her the healing she sought. I asked her to describe to me where she was.
Amy: I am a geisha girl in Japan. I can see myself wearing the white make up and the beautiful silk kimono. I am also wearing an ornate head dress and I have striking red lips. I am young but I am a teacher of other geishas. Together, we are studying art, flowers, bonsai cutting, and playing a flute. Even though I am teaching them, I feel sad. I believe I am longing for a husband and a family.
It is the early 1900’s and I am about twenty. I have been in training since I was four. Things are changing in this society and I decide it is time to leave that world and find a husband. My husband is lovely, small and balding. He is very smart, quiet and kind. He loves and respects me. We get married and have a family, three children.
I see a beautiful home with sliding doors and a bed on floor and we are eating out of small bowls. I am definitely a Buddhist. Even though I am married, I am still sad and I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I was taken away from my family to start training. Maybe that is why I wanted my own family.
Amy’s life as a geisha ended when her husband chocked her to death. He was jealous. Someone told him she had been unfaithful and in a jealous rage he beat her to death. She had done nothing wrong.
As Amy’s spirit left the body, I asked her to look into the lesson she learned in that life.
Amy: I learned not to judge sadness. Sadness is a teacher and can be a motivator. I should not focus on the desperate side or the melancholy but see the clarity and higher awareness it can bring.
When Amy left that life, I connected her with the energy of her spirit guides. She experienced profound love.
Amy: I am surrounded by my soul family. And I feel very at peace and at home. I feel unconditionally loved and seen and heard and acknowledged by my soul family.
Making the connection between her present life and her Geisha life, her guides suggested to her:
Amy: I am supposed to move my body through artistic means, like a spiritual practice. Showing me that my energy gets stuck and then I feel stuck in life. By moving my body, the energy moves and grows and purifies.
I understand now that labels aren’t good. Depression is just a label for energy but I am acknowledging that my energy feels stagnant and if I can move my energy, I can move my feelings. Feelings change all the time. The geisha is a reminder that sadness or grief can be moved out. They don’t have to stay stuck in the body.
This experience allowed Amy to see her depression in a new light — as a positive process. As Amy said, it brings clarity and higher awareness. Depression can serve as a natural contraction. It is a time to go within, analyze our experiences, and choose how we want to move forward. Usually, we hold on to the sadness beyond the purpose it has served.
If you find yourself in a place like Amy, do what her guides told her. Move. Move your body. Move your energy. Commit to a practice, such as yoga, that will move you and purify your stagnant energy. And see your depression as an opportunity to know yourself and act as a more whole and complete person.